It's been awhile since my last post, so an update is needed. I completed my BA in Behavioral Science October 31, 2011. My best friend (who is like a sister to me) and her husband took me to eat at the Melting Pot as a celebration of my accomplishment. The Melting Pot was awesome. Loved the food. Wish I could have had wine with dinner but I was driving (only because my car is bigger). I have been accepted into the Masters of Professional Counseling at Grand Canyon University, so I am very excited but also very nervous.

Before October I announced to family and friends that I was not having Christmas this year or any other year. There is no more meaning to Christmas. I am not religious but I do believe in God and Jesus. Christmas for me was the celebration of Jesus birth (although the date is not correct). Children are gifts from God. I celebrated Christmas because of the great gifts God has given - Jesus and my children. However as the years have gone by it no longer holds a special meaning to me anymore. People rushing to grab an item not mindful of the elderly person in front of them. People driving crazier to get to the mall not caring about the family in the car the nearly ran off the road. Family members taking for granted your kindness assuming you will host Christmas at your house and not invite family members they no longer get along with. There are a million reasons why Christmas has lost its true meaning. However, my 15 year old decided that she was going to make Christmas; she was having Christmas no matter what. And you know what she did a damn good job of making Christmas happen. She bought presents for her sister, grandmother, her godmother, and me her mom. She cooked Christmas dinner, which was fabulous.  And yes I did buy gifts for my girls but hid them to the very last second (^__^)

Ok so things seem to be going well other than the fact that I hate my job. I currently hold a help desk position and sometimes I wonder how in the hell some people get by. But now I can see how our politicians (no matter which party) can totally blind side the majority of American people. No I don't have a swell head, no I am not saying that I am better than others, and no I am not saying I have a high IQ I am just saying that people today are not using their brains, they seem to be too lazy to even get one brain cell to function, and too much of a narcissist to be of any use to society. How did we (America) get to this point? Could it be because we let our education system become mediocre in some areas of the US and lower than mediocre in other parts? Or are people just not applying themselves? Maybe the answer is both. Well this is just my little gripe for today. Tomorrow I will probably be in love with my job and think everyone in America is the smartest and brightest.

Gee class just started and I am already behind in my course work. I got to get my head in the game. I really wanted to do well in this class and come out of it with an A but now I just want a passing grade. I am trying hard to motivate myself but it's not happening. I guess I will be up late catching up on assigned reading and trying to get my article review written. Hope I can stay focus...

I loaded some music in this blog, if anyone is viewing this blog (which I doubt) I hope you enjoy it ... These are only a few selected sounds that I enjoy. I am actually a fan of all music, rock, pop, country, some heavy metal, alternative, jazz, blues, r&b, rap (some not much), opera, symphony, and gospel. Music is a way of feeling and expressing emotions. It's one of life's many pleasures.

Curtis Mayfield - The Makings Of You

i cant say no natalie cole

i never loved a man

Janis Joplin - A Woman Left Lonely

Well it's late and I know I should be in bed since I have to be up early for work but I cannot sleep. I listen to music that dates back to a time before I was born, progressing through the years (60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's) and I wonder what happened to the music. There was a time when all an artist wanted to do was sing but now we have people who claim they can sing fighting for the diva spot. It seems there was a time when people actually knew how to sing, they did not need technology to enhance their voices, and there was a time were people did not lip sync their songs. What happened to the music?

Well I am through with my Abnormal Psychology class - finished with an A... I really enjoyed the class and the instructor was awesome. I am now in my last class, Capstone and so far it's ok. I cannot wait until I am done with this degree however not sure if I want to do an MA or not.
Well although at my age I am still searching for the “me” I seemed have lost somewhere so long ago. I wonder if I found “me” if I will satisfied with what I find.

Bobby Bland-Stormy Monday Blues"getbluesinfo.com"

Well today is Monday and I am not crazy about Mondays ... Stormy Monday Morning ... I had a class that seems like it's going to be interesting ... Probably the only thing that will make Monday ok... My class is Abnormal Psychology, which I think I am going to really like and the instructor is awesome... So Mondays - well at least Monday evening are starting to look good .....

the two song vids are not what I am feeling ... they are songs amongst many that are my favorite and I just want to put them on my blog ...

The Five Stairsteps - Ooh Child (Things are Gonna Get Easier) [MP3/Downl...

If You Don't Know Me By Now - Harold Melvin

It seems at times that I don't even know my "self" - the real "self" or the ideal "self". Family and closest friend say they know me but how can they when I don't even know!!

This blog is for me. For whatever random thoughts I choose to write down. I need this. I need something that allows me to contemplate honestly my existence without the scrutiny of my family.

I made a mistake and joined Facebook, which now has all my family members and friends. Their mindless dribble has over shadowed my sense of escape. I hate the page after page of their everyday updates. It’s nice to know you have a life but gee is there something more you can be doing.

I made a mistake once by posting something on Facebook that sent my sister into psycho mode. I had to hear about it from her and from other family members for weeks on end. This blog is for me.

If strangers stop by and disagree who cares they cannot call me at work or at home, text me day and night on my cell, call my family to complain, or stop by my house unannounced.

I need this. I need an outlet even if my life has come to a standstill and my head is completely blank.

I need resolution.

I need to move forward.

What has me stuck?