Again, it has been way to long since I have been here. Well guess it is time for an update. Life is going good, I guess since I no longer question who I am but now I question, "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?" - really. I am still pursuing my master in Professional Counseling but as I look at the amount of debt I have accumulated throughout my years as a student I wonder "Is it worth it?" and I am not sure. I want to be a counselor but not in private practice. I want to work for an agency so that means not enough bucks to cover the loans and living expenses. So, is it selfish of me to think this way because my goal, my goal is to help people, especially teenagers who are unable to mentally function day to day? Millions of people are unable to deal mentally and they need a hand, the need understanding, they need someone to not judge them and think they are freaks or unworthy, they need empathy not sympathy, they need encouragement, they need to not be beaten done by the mental illness that is affecting them. There are a lot of people who are mentally that are medicated but medication is only a band-aid. If someone has to be medicated then I believe they need to be in counseling as well because there are demons and chaos that need to confronted and dealt with. URRGGHHH I guess I can go on forever but the point is - well I guess the accumulating debt is worth it.

Michael Jackson - Earth Song

So here I sit watching videos on YouTube. Currently I am watching Michael Jackson Earth video. The man is a true genius. I will not judge him personally as I am not God and only God has that right. But what I can say for me personally Michael Jackson as an entertainer is number one. No other can top his creativeness - the lyrics to his songs, the videos, and the dance move - his love for his profession cannot be out done. Don't get me wrong there are quite a few great entertainers but for me none that can out do Michael - he has the whole package wrapped and sealed tight. I’ll be posting his video to my blog.
Watching the video and listening to the music, for me at least, makes me wonder how society any society and myself included in that society has let our Mother Earth down. How come we did not protect her from such vile malicious evil? Was it our greed, our laziness, our attitude for taking things for granted – what was it?  Is too late to save her? Are there enough people who care enough to save her? Should we save her? Are we as humans even worthy of our Mother Earth? No I think we are not.

Well the New Year is here. Went to my best friend’s house and enjoyed waiting for the New Year to come in. Started with Dim Sum on New Year’s Eve in the afternoon. Went to BevMos to get some desert wine but also picked up some caviar. Wanted to try something new before the New Year rolled in. It was really good so definitely will be having it again – well when I can afford it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

It's been awhile since my last post, so an update is needed. I completed my BA in Behavioral Science October 31, 2011. My best friend (who is like a sister to me) and her husband took me to eat at the Melting Pot as a celebration of my accomplishment. The Melting Pot was awesome. Loved the food. Wish I could have had wine with dinner but I was driving (only because my car is bigger). I have been accepted into the Masters of Professional Counseling at Grand Canyon University, so I am very excited but also very nervous.

Before October I announced to family and friends that I was not having Christmas this year or any other year. There is no more meaning to Christmas. I am not religious but I do believe in God and Jesus. Christmas for me was the celebration of Jesus birth (although the date is not correct). Children are gifts from God. I celebrated Christmas because of the great gifts God has given - Jesus and my children. However as the years have gone by it no longer holds a special meaning to me anymore. People rushing to grab an item not mindful of the elderly person in front of them. People driving crazier to get to the mall not caring about the family in the car the nearly ran off the road. Family members taking for granted your kindness assuming you will host Christmas at your house and not invite family members they no longer get along with. There are a million reasons why Christmas has lost its true meaning. However, my 15 year old decided that she was going to make Christmas; she was having Christmas no matter what. And you know what she did a damn good job of making Christmas happen. She bought presents for her sister, grandmother, her godmother, and me her mom. She cooked Christmas dinner, which was fabulous.  And yes I did buy gifts for my girls but hid them to the very last second (^__^)

Ok so things seem to be going well other than the fact that I hate my job. I currently hold a help desk position and sometimes I wonder how in the hell some people get by. But now I can see how our politicians (no matter which party) can totally blind side the majority of American people. No I don't have a swell head, no I am not saying that I am better than others, and no I am not saying I have a high IQ I am just saying that people today are not using their brains, they seem to be too lazy to even get one brain cell to function, and too much of a narcissist to be of any use to society. How did we (America) get to this point? Could it be because we let our education system become mediocre in some areas of the US and lower than mediocre in other parts? Or are people just not applying themselves? Maybe the answer is both. Well this is just my little gripe for today. Tomorrow I will probably be in love with my job and think everyone in America is the smartest and brightest.

Gee class just started and I am already behind in my course work. I got to get my head in the game. I really wanted to do well in this class and come out of it with an A but now I just want a passing grade. I am trying hard to motivate myself but it's not happening. I guess I will be up late catching up on assigned reading and trying to get my article review written. Hope I can stay focus...